Dating in Lagos

Hey guys.
I didn’t want to share this but I figured someone out there may or may not have experienced something similar and just want that someone to know that they are not gullible or stupid. I also want to share some lessons I learnt from it all and who knows? Someone might learn a thing or two.
I’m not saying you should have trust issues o but keep reading.
So I decided to go into this dating thing. I’m not much of a ‘dater’ tbh. I like being alone. Being jobless for a while made it even worse. I just hate the stress of meeting people, liking them and being disappointed. Don’t get it twisted, I like the going out part sometimes, having someone new to laugh with, go out with, try new things with other than your family and friends.
So, I decided to sort of date two people because I kind of met them at the same time. Let me just call them A and B. I wanted to give y’all the full gist because frankly I don’t care if they read this but It’s a long story so I’ll just summarize it and save y’all the stress.
Now, I don’t know about you girls but after a while, I can’t keep up with two guys so I obviously had to narrow it down to one eventually.
A was not my type physically but I decided to look beyond that. Clearly, I didn’t look too far because apparently he had a girlfriend of four years and lied about it. Four bruh.
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How did you miss this? You might be asking. Frankly, I don’t even know. I guess when someone is constantly messaging and calling, you just sort of assume he does not have a girlfriend especially after he tells you  he’s single. Ya know? Before I found out,  I told him I don’t think anything will happen here tbh. Ko le werk.
Did i mention that when i told him i dont think we are compatible, he blocked me on whatsapp and unfollowed me on twitter and I was like

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While gisting with my friend after the blocking drama, she told me he has a girlfriend. What a freaking wawu. I know.

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Lesson learnt from that experience is to talk to friends that might know the person you’re dating. Don’t say he’s just a guy I met, why investigate so much. Girl, Ask lots of questions.. not only to the guy you’re dating because they tend to lie about having girlfriends, but to people that know him. I personally don’t like to put my private life out there but clearly in Lagos you have to investigate everything because married men are out here trying to date single girls. ASK MY SISTERS. Lagos is small, someone will know someone that knows him. LOL.
B that I decided to focus on turned out to be a liar. LOL. I literally thought it was jazz.

Like bruh how does one lie about what they’re doing in life? It had me confused. Like I had to ask how he planned to keep up with the lie forever.
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For obvious/other reasons, I had to drop him too. * Boy, bye*- In Beyonce’s voice.
Lesson learnt: Forgive yeah but move the hell on. If a nigga can lie about what he does regardless of the reason, keep it moving. You don’t need that kind of person around sis. Also, as I said earlier, ask lots of questions. Don’t assume shit. People lie about everything and don’t ever underestimate a guy’s ability to make you feel guilty for his mistakes.
There is no way to know if a guy is a liar by just looking at him. I wish there was some sort of technology for that. So you just gotta keep your eyes open, ask questions, talk to your friends (they might know someone that knows him) and don’t be naïve and too quick to think you’ve found the one so you won’t get disappointed. I’m sure there are lots of good guys so this is not in any way a ‘ALL GUYS ARE LIARS’ post.

I hope someone reading learnt a thing or two from this post.
What kind of person would I be if I did not share some tips with my sisters. 😉

XOXO
Tosin

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7 thoughts on “Dating in Lagos

  1. My rule, “he has a girlfriend until proven otherwise by me”, n trust me, I do my homework, I never assume. Plus I trust my instincts 100%. Its never bin wrong. I def can relate.

    Like

  2. So apt! There was this guy who was professing love for my sister. Apparently he was dating another girl in her office, they literally share the same office space. Was dating her friend from uni and was engaged to someone else. When she asked him about it. He denied all of them. Cried and cried saying people want to tarnish his image. Came to the house at 6am, banging on the door, crying. I’m sure the devil himself was impressed.
    Like you said always ask questions. You can never go wrong when you ask questions.

    Liked by 1 person

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