Life comes at you fast.
One day you’re graduating secondary school, saying bye to your friends and the next you’re preparing for ‘freedom’ in university.
One day you’re starting off your new job and the next, you’re planning your wedding.
And there’s today!
It’s my birthday!!! Damn I’m old af!
Over the years, I’ve sort of developed a tradition which includes getting myself a cake, a birthday dress, shoes and a weave.
This year is definitely odd, I’m with zero excitement and generally not interested in anything. All I pre-planned was not to be working on my birthday. I think this is something I’m going to adopt going forward in life.
As today approached and my loved ones started reaching out to me to gauge my excitement, it dawned on me that i wasn’t remotely excited or happy as i normally would be.
You see my life hasn’t been bad: was top of my class in high school, first class economics graduate, served NYSC in a good organization, right after i got into the graduate associate program in another organization and doubly promoted in two years, met and married the love of my life, and the list goes on. The downside of this is that i am programmed to always succeed and dealing with failures wasn’t something familiar.
Society sets expectations for us to feel like at certain age we should be at certain levels with certain goals achieved. When we’re not there, horrible thoughts creep in. I finally figured out why this year was odd, I’ve pressured myself to feel like at this age i should have crossed certain milestones and because i haven’t, here i was feeling bleh.
Eventually I had to sit myself up, accept my failures and things that were in my control but i didn’t do enough, accept that some things weren’t in my control and nothing in my power would’ve changed the outcome.
What’s the moral of this post? There is no time limit on what you want to achieve, que sera sera.
We are humans, sometimes we don’t do enough, sometimes we do. and that’s OK, that’s part of life, we learn and unlearn.
As I’ step into this new age, I’m letting go of certain mindsets. I’m embracing my achievements so far, I’m accepting my flaws and finally I’m taking charge of my life and going after everything i want with God’s help of course.
I know 2019 will be a year of new amazing experiences and i am ready.
I will come back to this post, this time next year and smile because i did all i said i would.
Do you ever struggle with not doing enough? Not achieving enough? Please share with me. I would really really love to read other perspectives.
Thank you for reading, now wish me a happy birthday.
I have a birthday wish list if you’re feeling nice, no pressure my darlings.
1. Follow my blog.
3. Upgrade my Medium subscription to the unlimited access plan.
4. Get a Cassiedaves blog planner.
5. A warm present (falling in love with pictures with warm vibes).
6. A website upgrade from wordpress.com to wordpress.org
With love, Titi