Surgery posting| Things you find in my pocket! 

We all know house officers have everything you need on the ward. Well, at least we are expected to. I find it slightly annoying when senior colleagues get upset when we don’t have certain things in our pockets like ‘Sorry o, I didn’t know we are a moving store. My apologies!’ Stupes!

It’s sad tho that most patients don’t have the basic things they need and it’s even sadder that in a big teaching hospital, basic things can’t be found on the ward. I was coming from the Caribbean where the hospital provides the consumables (gloves, needles, syringes, cannulas, cotton wool, methylated spirit e.t.c. It was a huge shock coming here and realizing patients have to buy every damn thing! The economy isn’t friendly so imagine the struggle. It’s so annoying going to a patient to give drugs or secure Iv access and realizing they don’t have anything.

We, house officers (seeing as we do most of the work anyway) have decided to make our lives easier and have these things in or pockets.

Since I started Plastic Surgery, I can’t even count the number of wounds I’ve seen and I can’t count the number of surgical blades I’ve brought out of my pocket.

P.S- you know you’ve arrived when you describe a wound during consultant ward round and everyone agrees. It was at that point I realized I’ve actually learnt so much in this posting. I’m low key considering coming back for residency. Emphasis on low key.

I swear this post was supposed to be about the things usually seen/found in my pocket but somehow the story is going somewhere else.

1. Continuation sheet/patients note, pen and Census

There’s nothing more annoying than a long ward round without continuation sheets. Imagine having to ask the nurses for them and continuously hearing ‘We don’t have o’. Oh they don’t even bother looking for them anymore. They legit just say they don’t have and continue their work. Highly irritating!

A census is basically a list of all our patients, the wards, diagnosis and basic information about them. Only used in plastic surgery because we have patients on almost all the wards in this hospital. Strezzup!

Can we also discuss the disturbing issue of how my pens disappear. Like I take three pens to work everyday and most days I don’t return with any. I can’t even explain how it happens tbvh. I’m sure my fellow house officers can relate.

2. IV cannulas.

Ladies and gentlemen, there is nothing more annoying than getting to a Patient’s bedside to give drugs only to realize the line is in tissue and to make matters worse realize that the patient does not have materials for siting a line. Struggle! Or when the nurses call you in the middle of the night that your patient’s line is in tissue and you just want to do what you gotta do and sleep.

3. Sample bottles/capillary tubes/surgical blade.

Hmm. It has actually gotten to the point where I go to the different labs to take sample bottles. The hospital is so big and from the time you fill the request form to the time it takes the patient’s relative to go get sample bottles, thirty minutes to an hour is gone and you just find yourself wondering how your life got this fucked up.  I personally don’t like stress. Neither do I like people disturbing my life. Most times, as I’m filling the forms, I’m asking the patient if he/she has money to pay for the investigation. If yes, best believe I’m taking the sample right then.

4. Mobile wifi.

I’m sure y’all weren’t expecting this one but every now and then during the ward round, you’ll find yourself wondering what the dose of a drug is or what the hell the consultants are talking about. Shout out to Medscape and google for helping a nigga out! The annoying part is because everyone knows you have a wifi in your pocket you suddenly become the technology person. ‘Oya google it na’. When they’re overdoing it, I’m always like ‘No network. Tenks much’.

All these rich registrars and senior registrars that won’t buy good phones and pay for data. 🙄

Let me use this opportunity to talk about how I’m now the photographer of the unit. Any small thing, ‘please come and take a clinical picture’. This always end with ‘The picture is not good enough’ #strezzup!

I hope y’all enjoyed reading this post that has somehow turned into a rant. Sigh

I’m leaving plastic surgery this week and it’s lit!

How’s your week going?


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